♦25Jul10 There's a way I know.

Whenever I feel motivated enough to take initiative, something else always comes out of the blue, smacks me across the face, and convinces me not to go through with it. It feels so systematic now that it's happened so many times. Take last night for example. Before I went to sleep, I felt really good about making a pretty big change about my approach to something that's been on my mind. I remembered someone saying "if you're not getting rejected, you're not trying hard enough." I actually took this quote to heart, and realized I've been complaining a lot about things I'm not taking into my own hands. I thought to myself that I can cry about it after I make more legitimate attempts.

The "smack in the face" came after facebooking around this morning. Go play detective and maybe you can figure out what it was. It may seem diminutive, but it bugged the crap out of me. Now I'm all the way back where I started.

I think I just really need some distance.. Maybe break as many routines as I can without being a complete jerk.

I know I know, I'll start blogging about happier things soon. Promise.