♦11Dec09 Happy 1 month IH.

So biggest high school regret. We've talked about this over hookah a lot now and yet it ponders my mind every time.

This woe: not following through with.. stuff. It's quite specific but I'll let you play detective. It feels like all those phone calls and any other effort put up to that point goes straight down the pooper. Any chance I had, I let it slip away. And there's no one to blame or to cry to but myself. It's probably just 'cause I'm scared. Scared of the next step; of what other people might think; of how it would affect things if it doesn't work out; of complications of the future and school and friends and time and needs and wants and emotions.

QQ moar ranting mofo.

I guess the main reason why I realize this now is because it's quite hard to meet people at school now, considering the lack of dorm life etc. Who knows, maybe it's for the better. Like that 'everything happens for a reason' bullshit. I just hope I snap out of it soon.